The Unfortunate Existence of Penis Lattes



So you’ll remember a while ago I posted about the fickleness of latte art. In celebration of Valentines Day, our store – along with lots of other Bridgeheads – tried our best to pass on the love with heart-shaped latte art. People loved it and it’s always nice to hear how much people appreciate the extra bit of love.

Oh, if only it was always the case….

See, the problem with heart shaped latte art is that it can easily go astray. Now, before you get your hopes up… no, I do not have photographic evidence of this kind of latte art, because as you soon will understand when this kind of latte art makes an appearance, it is neither the time nor the place to say… “Excuse me, can you wait one sec while I run to get my camera?”

Oh no, my friends. Oh. No.

I might as well just get it out of the way. The this is referring to sneakiness and stealthiness of penis latte art.

Imagine with me for a second, if you will. You’re chatting up a regular customer while making their latte – taking care to make it perfect. Your milk is perfect. Your espresso sublime. You’re about to pour the perfect heart shape into their cup and send them on their way…. when all of a sudden! You know it. They know it. There’s no denying it. Your latte art heart has taken a turn for the phallic.

Uhhh… where do I look?

In that moment, you’d give anything for more room in the cup. More milk in your pitcher. More time traveling abilities to go back and turn it all around. But sadly, there’s nothing you can do except hope against hope that they didn’t see it, too. That when they sip their latte, they won’t be reminded of the penis latte that you’ve generously gifted them with.

“Yes, the lids are over on the service counter. (I’m sorry!)”


3 thoughts on “The Unfortunate Existence of Penis Lattes

  1. LOL this was hilarious. My god that is too funny! You poor girl… but honestly I wish I could’ve been a fly on the wall. 🙂 hahahahahaha! thanks for the laugh!

  2. Help!!! Call 9-1-1!! Something has come over me, I’m laughing uncontrollably and hysterically!! OMG!! I hope that I don’t have Female Hysteria Syndrome after reading your blog post??!!!

    Way, way, way, oh way too funny 🙂

  3. Hahahaha – I think you should keep a camera under the counter and pretend you are photographing the customer, if they will allow of course, thereby sneakily distracting them, and as you lower the camera after taking the photo, oops your sleeve remodels the phallic artwork, oh so cleverly and hey presto you have photographic evidence! I can so easily imagine how lattee artwork could easily “slip up”, but then perhaps you just have to turn the cup around to give a different view, as you hand it over???
    Anyway, gave us a good laugh, this did!! Thank you!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s