Have you ever felt like your life was out of your hands?

I’ve been feeling that way a lot lately and let me tell you, it’s a pretty weird feeling.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t feel like it’s out of control. I don’t even feel like it’s up in the air. I can picture what I want out of life and have taken some pretty substantial steps in the direction of getting it there, BUT it is still out of my hands.

I can’t share with you why I feel that way, but I can tell you this: I can picture the next 5 years of my life very clearly (leaving room for unforeseen shiz, of course) but I have absolutely no idea where that is going to take place and, just as importantly, when.

Like I said, I can’t share with you the entirety of the why, but I can tell you that at this point, everything relies on two application processes, neither of which relate to each other at all AND neither of which I have ANY control over, whatsoever.


And so, for the next little while, some heavy duty patience is required, not to mention a fair amount of trust. Trust that it will all work out for the best, and trust that it will all be worth it in the end. Which brings me to the list…

My blog-buddy Melanie wrote a post the other day that I found so inspiring. It’s called “30 New Things Before 30” and it’s fabulous. Basically, she’s turning 30 and has made a list of things to do before that happens. It got me to thinking that I could stand to make a list like this. BUT in my case, because I’m already 30, I’ve decided to make a list of 20 things I CAN do (while waiting…)

The ‘while waiting’ part makes things a bit interesting, I think, because I have no idea when the ‘waiting’ period will end. Melanie knows when her birthday is, but I have no idea when application verdicts will be decided. Kind of neat, right?

So without any further ado (What the heck does that mean, anyways?), here is my list.

20 things I CAN do (while waiting…)

  1. Eat 5 healthy foods that I think I hate (eg. Cooked fish!… gag! Poached eggs… slimey! etc.)
  2. Try 5 foods I’ve never had before (eggplant!)
  3. Bake a loaf of bread from scratch
  4. Eat vegan for 1 week
  5. Go wine tasting
  6. Go a weekend without TV or Internet (OMG!)
  7. Find 5 new songs that ‘speak to me’
  8. Watch 5 movies that people always say “OMG! I can’t believe you’ve never seen ______!”(namely Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas)
  9. Read “Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” (if for no other reason then to prove myself wrong)
  10. Skate on the Rideau canal
  11. Go cross country skiing
  12. Do yoga or pilates every day for a month (living room pilates counts!)
  13. Be able to do 20 pushups in a row
  14. Buy a fun kitchen tool
  15. Get a massage
  16. Paint a painting
  17. Drink 8 glasses of water per day for 1 week (Y’know… to prove to myself that, despite feeling like it for the first day, I will not drown.)
  18. Find ways to sleep better
  19. Try 5 recipes from cookbooks that I own that I’ve never tried
  20. Finish my painting

I’m not sure which one I’ll start with, so stay tuned to find out…



6 thoughts on “THE LIST

  1. I know I am way past 30, but in my mind I am not! So, perhaps I should think of 20 things to do before ……. now that is the question! Before what? I need a challenge and I need a deadline – right now I can’t think of a/the deadline – but I can think of plenty of challenges. But, that would be unrealistic, just to write down a list of challenges. One thing I do know is that every list I ever write of “things to do” starts with something I can tick off right away – it sort of encourages me! But my lists are normally uber boring, and I now need to motivate myself and find a reason to do so. Any suggestions??

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